Miswanting
When I quit my CIO job and started my own venture, I NEVER expected this.
And by THIS, I mean: being so happy & fulfilled.
Let me back up because this is the most important message I’ve ever shared with you.
I recently wrapped up some work with Yale University on the The Science of Well-Being.
My goals for the program were simple:
↳ Improve my overall well-being.
↳ Understand supporting science for my work with leaders.
Mind blown. It provided all that and more!
One key psychological concept I studied is called miswanting. This refers to thinking something will make us happy that won’t really make us happy.
Here are some examples, which science has proven will not create sustainable happiness:
↳ High pay
↳ Perfect body
↳ Awesome things
↳ Dream relationship
Damn. Think about the countless hours we burn pursuing everything on that list!
It turns out there are five things most connected to our happiness, which I will call the Fab Five. Here they are:
Mindfulness—focusing on the here and now. Being present in this exact moment and savoring everything it brings.
Gratitude/Kindness—being thankful and appreciative for the things you have, which inspires you to give to others.
Social Connection—nurturing relationships with many kinds of people such as family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers (yes, even strangers).
Exercise—moving three days a week for just 30 minutes is all you need, and it can be as simple as walking. It is the top intervention for depression, by the way.
Sleep—prioritizing bedtime and ensuring you get seven hours/night or more exponentially boosts your well-being.
So, let me return to what I NEVER expected when I quit the day job.
I never thought I could make more money than I did as a CIO and that it wouldn’t matter to my overall happiness.
But instead, something else fueled my fulfillment.
Quitting the CIO role allowed me to focus on my passion for growing & developing leaders 100% of the time, and it’s changed me for the better.
It connected me in a deeper way to a community of intentional leaders who are changing the world. I feel like my work matters, and I’m making an impact.
Most importantly, I gave myself the freedom to be more mindful, give more freely of my time, and prioritize exercise and sleep.
To be clear, you don’t have to go solo to achieve these things.
You just have to quiet the miswanting monster and pursue simple things that truly map to your happiness & fulfillment.
Your coach,
Chris
P.S. If you want to boost social connection, I’m bringing a small group together next week for the very first CIO Coffee Talk. We’ll be discussing unignorable tactics to get buy-in with Boards and Execs. Click here to sign-up.
