Your Unwilling List
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As a coach and advisor, I always start my client work with this simple question:
What do you want most right now that you don’t have?
The answers vary… more impact, more freedom, a stronger team, a career shift.
But the real breakthrough comes with the second question:
What are you UNWILLING to do to get it?
Notice what I don’t ask: What are you willing to do?
Because we love piling on. More strategies, more tasks, more pressure.
That’s not the issue.
The issue is: What lines won’t you cross? What trade-offs are off-limits?
That’s where the friction lives.
And often, what you’re unwilling to do is exactly why you don’t have what you want most.
Here are 5 things you need to know about your Unwilling List and how to move forward:
I.
What you call a truth is usually a limiting belief.
Your unwillingness often shows up sounding like certainty. “I can’t afford that.” “My team would never go for it.” “That won’t work here.” But these aren’t truths, they’re beliefs. And they’re holding you back.
💡Try This:
Write down 3 reasons you’re stuck. Then ask, “Is this a fact or just something I’ve assumed is true?”
II.
It’s not always mindset—it’s a missing skill.
Sometimes you’re not unwilling, you’re unprepared. You want the outcome, but you don’t know how to get there and assume the only fix is a masters degree or a major time investment.
💡 Try This:
Pick one skill that’s a gap. Search for a course on LinkedIn Learning or Coursera. You’ll find options under $100 and under 10 hours that will move you forward.
III.
Time isn’t the issue, prioritization is.
“I don’t have time” is the adult version of “The dog ate my homework.” If you really want what you say you want, it has to show up on your calendar.
💡 Try This:
Block 60 minutes this week for the one thing that matters most and defend that time like it’s a board meeting.
IV.
You’re probably not lazy, you’re isolated.
You don’t know the steps. You’re scared you’ll get it wrong. And you don’t have a wingman. That’s not weakness. It’s human.
💡 Try This:
Ask someone you respect to meet for coffee. Share what you’re trying to do. Say this: “I’m trying to do something important, but I don’t want to go it alone. Can I run some things by you as I go?”
V.
The best answer to “What are you unwilling to do?” is: Nothing.
The second you drop your self-imposed limits, the world gets bigger. If you’re willing to be uncomfortable, embarrassed, rejected, even bad at it for a while—then anything is possible.
💡 Try This:
Say this out loud: “There is nothing I’m unwilling to do to build the life or team I want.” Now act like it’s true. Even if it scares you.
Your Unignorable Move
Stop asking what you’re willing to do. That list is endless. Ask what you’re unwilling to do—and be honest. Because that’s the line that’s keeping you from what you want most. And you get to move it.
Your coach,
Chris
