“The No A**hole Rule” Isn’t Enough.
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Most companies think they’ve cracked the culture code if they enforce “the no a**hole rule.”
Don’t yell. Don’t belittle. Don’t make people cry.
That’s fine. But let’s be honest, it’s a pretty pathetic bar.
I learned this the hard way years ago. I worked for an executive who never raised his voice. He was professional. Polite. Even gracious at times. And yet, no one wanted to work with him.
Why?
Because beneath the surface, he was distant and transactional. He never asked how people were doing. He never connected outside of tasks. He treated everyone as if their only worth was the work they produced.
The result? His team delivered, but they were drained. They felt invisible. And eventually, they left.
That’s when I realized: being “not awful” isn’t the same as being unignorable.
The leaders who stand out (the ones people trust, follow, and fight for) don’t just avoid cruelty. They show up with something harder and far more powerful. They lead with kindness, respect, and clarity, even when it’s inconvenient.
So if you want to raise the bar, here are 5 things you need to know:
I.
Politeness isn’t leadership.
Not yelling in meetings doesn’t make you admirable. It just makes you tolerable. Teams want more than “decent.” They want to feel seen, supported, and safe.
Try this: Instead of just being “civil,” look for one way today to be actively encouraging.
II.
Respect is a gift, not a transaction.
Too many leaders treat respect as something to be earned back from others. But the way you treat people, especially when they’re struggling, says far more about your character than theirs.
Try this: Give respect first. Even when someone’s performance isn’t there yet, speak to their potential, not their shortcomings.
III.
Warmth fuels trust.
Your team can feel the difference between being treated like “resources” and being valued as humans. Without warmth, connection dies, and with it, loyalty.
Try this: At your next check-in, ask about something in their life outside of work and mean it.
IV.
Love and clarity are not opposites.
Many executives confuse kindness with softness. The best leaders bring both compassion and candor. Love without clarity is coddling. Clarity without love is cold. Together, they build followership.
Try this: Pair every tough message with genuine belief in the person receiving it: “Here’s where we need to improve. And I know you can.”
V.
Your character shows most when you’re losing.
Anyone can be gracious when the scoreboard is in their favor. True leaders are revealed when things go sideways, when the pressure is high, patience is thin, and eyes are on you.
Try this: The next time stress spikes, pause before responding. Ask yourself: “If my team replayed this moment on video, would I be proud of what they saw?”
Your Unignorable Move
The bar isn’t “don’t be an a**hole.”
The bar is: Be the kind of leader whose presence builds connection, respect, and trust.
Your team isn’t just watching what you achieve.
They’re watching how you treat people on the way there.
Your coach,
Chris
P.S. If you want your leadership team to move past “not awful” and become truly unignorable, let’s talk. My Leadership Operating System helps leaders build trust, clarity, and connection that people actually feel.
